It’s here. Relief and anxiety wash over me at once. This feeling of feelings; it’s overwhelming.
Calm down, lady. It’s just the mail.
I feel every moment before this moment has been intense. I notice things and sounds and places on my commute that I’ve never noticed before. I feel stronger about everything. I want to feel every moment to its maximum. Happy and sad and excited now have color to me. The food has a better smell, better taste. Every person in my life is a beautiful soul, surrounding me with their bright little lights.
Oh, what it’s like to be alive. This beautiful thing called life. It’s a thing, after all … not easily afforded to all. And, it’s very disheartening that not all see it and appreciate it for the thing it is. They get wrapped up in this world, or within themselves. They take it all for granted, and soon, it’s gone.
Gone in a split second.
A lot can happen in a split second. An atom bomb. A heartache. A surprise. A new life. A decision. It’s all small and huge in each its own way.
I often think of my dad. He passed away from a gunshot wound. Oh, how that split second has changed lives forever. I often wonder, was he scared? Was he ready? Did he know what was happening to his body, up to his last breath? I will never know what really happened in his last moments on this good Earth. All I know and have lived with since that moment is that he is gone, and he’s never coming back.
Coming back from the deep. I’ll leave it here for now.
Back to the moment. The package is here.
This package comes from across the country and my heart is thinking about an acquaintance who is in need. I am doing what I am called to do, and we will soon see if I am able to help. It’s filled with empty blood draw tubes.
I go tomorrow to get these filled.
“The first step is the one you believe in, the second one might be profound.”
Profound. Can I really change a life? Can I change many lives from what I am about to try and do?
I am ready for this journey. If it has a short duration, so be it.
If it turns to be a long duration, it will be one of the greatest gifts I can experience.
And, here we go. ❤